FOOTBALL – THE GAME OF THRONES – A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP FOR MEN AND WOMEN
World Cup football fever has gripped every household, or at least ours. The game is a war between countries without anyone dying or at least not during the game. Out of the game there was the case of the Colombian Captain Andres Escobar shot dead by the Mafia for scoring an own goal and consequently driving Colombia out of the tournament some 20 years before. Still football is a safe Coliseum of a kind. Our modern day Gladiators do battle with a ball, sometimes head butting their opponent. A humane sport with no animals in sight unless you wish to count Uruguay’s Suarez biting Italian’s Chiellini as beasty.
How can football help us date? By process of elimination. We should use the rules of football to conduct our choice in partners. We should date prolifically and when ready for any long-term relationship we should begin to siphon through our dates.
There are many ways to start if you are dating multiple people. I suggest you begin the same way they do in the World Cup. Groups chosen at random. Then begin the play off. Set each lover a date task consider the winner has scored a goal. Have sex; who performs to your taste earns another goal. I leave you to choose the categories that are goal worthy. When you reach the next level (be it the semi-final or the quarter final (I bow in reverence if you needed a quarter final)) you might have to go into extra time. You might even have to take it to penalty. One small act of surprise at the last minute could score a goal for the losing side.
Once you have your winner, again refer to the World Cup Rules. It clearly states that the World Cup will be played every four years, except during World Wars. You may consider a marriage a World War and therefore put your Dating World Cup on hold, but remember wars do end except perhaps the 100-year war, in which case you might need to hang up your running shoes.
Personally I think we should all adhere to the 4-year hiatus. Allow your lover to sit on the throne so badly fought for. But when 4 years are up its time to return to your Game of Thrones and either reinstate your lover or find your new King or Queen, using football rules again.
Let the games begin.