A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE ON OUR MANY FACES.
We are Goddesses of many faces. But which inner person controls us most? As women we have (living inside us all) a psychopath. This is the personality that takes us to nirvana (I know hard to imagine). And it may not feel like that’s where you are heading: since free falling isn’t for most enthusiasts. But she is the personality that kicks open a door so that the rational person (who we truly are) can walk in, move the psychopath aside and say, “Off you go now. I got this”. This is the moment of epiphany. The moment you can detach to view the issue at hand and walk away (with love) knowing it will take you off the hamster wheel. But, inside us there are other people and there is one who is weak. This one jumps forth all the time and is not knocked down by the psychopath, or you and thus blocks your road to recovery.
Because we have a need to live in peace we are moved to unleash our inner psychopath. This is the personality that makes short work of a potentially long-drawn out incident. She’s the one that goes in guns blazing and turns the room upside down. Her presence is often prompted by a relationship that is not functioning properly on one side. At some point during the bedlam you show up. Cool, functioning, eyes open and ready to act in a detached way. How long you keep this up can depend upon how many last straws you’ve had. With a bit of luck you are at the last, last, last straw and it has broken the camel’s back. In which case you can coolly walk away, having exhausted all emotion over that partnership. If you are still fighting to save it by convincing yourself with all the usual bollock excuses then the fearful personality has come to the fore and the you (the real resourceful you) was usurped. This insecure, scared personality uses weight to her argument for remaining in bullshit: history, kids, family, money, friends, not the right time, the freezer needs defrosting. And so the cycle continues: rant, cool, wag finger, start again; and there you are: the hamster on a wheel. Your inner psychopath does two things. It sighs in relief that no real damage was done (because it too is intrinsically scared). (b) it sighs in disappointment because it was brave enough to try for balance and wasn’t able to take you a stage closer to tranquillity.
Now if only two personalities could get together then we would be invincible. Our inner psycho could go in to create pandamonium. Then move aside for us to take over and execute irrevocable changes. All the while our psychopath gags the fearful side (that we really have no reason to keep accommodating in ourselves). In this way we can reach, on every level a perfect state of being.